Apple wants its employees to poop in big iPhones, basically

February 17, 2017


Finally, an iPhone that doesn’t require a dongle.

When Apple opens its new headquarters in Cupertino, Calif., employees will enjoy squatting over toilets that take a cue from the company’s iconic smartphones, Reuters reported Tuesday morning.

Here’s the relevant excerpt—emphasis ours:

Apple’s novel approach to the building took many forms. Architect German de la Torre, who worked on the project, found many of the proportions – such as the curve of a rounded corner – came from Apple’s products. The elevator buttons struck some workers as resembling the iPhone’s home button; one former manager even likened the toilet’s sleek design to the device.

But [architect German] de la Torre ultimately saw that Apple executives were not trying to evoke the iPhone per se, but rather following something akin to the Platonic ideal of form and dimension.

Ah yes, the Platonic ideal of form and dimension—the perfect vessel to contain all manner of Chipotle aftermath.

When reached for comment, a representative for Apple tactfully ignored our probing about the iThrone and provided a number of renderings of the new campus, which has repeatedly been compared to a spaceship since its announcement in 2011:




The campus’ construction cost $5 billion according to Reuters. And iPhone-toilets don’t even place among the facility’s wildest features—Apple reportedly insisted that none of the doorways contained thresholds, as engineers “risked distraction from their work” if they had to “adjust their gait while entering the building.” And apparently, 15 meetings were held with the Santa Clara County Fire Department to reach an agreement on “sleek, minimalist” signage.

The 2.8 million-square-foot building is expected to open this spring. Apple employees, please keep Mashable in mind when sending out your first reports of the campus’s new toilets—we are deeply interested in the full loo-down.

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